A Few of My Favorite Things-Baby Edition

Just a few things that I could not live without these days. I always love to know what people like/love/makes their life easier/more fun. This is my list having to do with baby items.

itz been

The itzbeen is not so advanced since it is really just a stopwatch/timer with a backlight. However, it is a tremendous help. It keeps track of how long "itz been" since a diaper change, nap, feeding, or *. [We currently use the diaper button for wet diapers and the * button for dirty ones.] Also, the bottom button slides back and forth [L or R] to help out breastfeeding mothers to know which boob gets to go first. Got this idea off of Morgan's blog. Great idea!

The Happiest Baby on the Block

Dr. Harvey Karp

We don't know Dr. Karp, but we wish we did so we could hug and kiss him. Matthew has really read much more of this book than I have. This book has educated us on how to soothe a fussy baby. It is GREAT! It debunks common myths about colic and fussy babies and educated us on ways to calm Candice. Holding her on her side, bobbling her head [JUST like a Bobble Head doll. weird huh?], swaying/rocking, swaddling, etc. I wanted to give Janell credit for suggesting this book, but she said it wasn't her. Was it you Amy? Anyway, we love it. Thanks to whoever suggested it.

Kiddopotamus SwaddleMe Blanket

Ummmmm. Just get a couple of these. There is no reason to not have a swaddle blanket with velcro. Newborns have a very hard time getting to sleep since they have little to no control over the arms and legs. Once the arms or legs move, they are wide awake. Put this little straight jacket [comes with velcro so there is no escape] on them and they almost pass out. It is magical.

The Ultimate Crib Sheet


This item was intriguing to me and my sister-in-law Karen confirmed its hype. This sheet is a flat piece of material that feels like a sheet on top and a mattress pad on the bottom. It just lays on top of your bottom sheet and straps to the cribs slats with pieces of elastic. So, if there is a poo or spit-up incident in the middle of the night, you just undo the straps and slap your backup Ultimate Crib Sheet right on there. A little easier than leaning way in the crib to undo and switch out a bottom sheet and mattress pad. And, you can switch out the Ultimate Crib Sheet while the baby is in the bed one side at time. I always wonder, what people do if you have to change out an infant's bedding in the middle of the night. Where do you put the child while you are switching bedding? Hmm.

Conair Sound Machine

Thanks to a family friend, for the last couple nights Candice has been sleeping to the sounds of waves crashing on the shore. Since babies don't mind noise and actually prefer it, this was a great baby gift. Thanks Rico and Jennifer! See all those buttons? There are jungle noises, waves, raindrops, white noise, and the list goes on. It travels with us so she has her familiar noises wherever we are.

Ok. Ok. Here are some recent photos of Candice.

ROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAR!

Candice in her Leopard costume on Halloween.

[Thanks for the good find Nonna!

Purr.....

This is the leopard in a little better mood. Maybe she really prefers closeups.

Family Outing to New Orleans

My mother was here for six weeks helping me recover, taking care of me and Candice and being a great friend. She has done it all since she has been here including cooking, cleaning, diaper changing and much more. I am sure I would have completely lost my mind had she not been here. After my stepdad Ken arrived, we managed to make time for some REAL fun and did some day trips around Louisiana to see some hot spots. We visited Baton Rouge, New Orleans, did some shopping, and of course ate WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much at every meal. Candice loves to go on trips. The only person who needs to relax is. . . .me. I am completely nuts. When we made our first couple of outings, things went something like this:

Me: [packing the diaper bag] "What if _____ happens?!! Or _____.?!!!

We probably need to pack more diapers and clothes."

Matthew: Honey, I think we are ok, it's just a Walmart trip.

Me: "Have you seen the baby Tylenol? And the other tube of Desitin?

Where did I put that stack of burp cloths?"

Matthew: "Sarah-get ahold of yourself!"

He probably should have slapped me right there. Just like in the movies.

Here are a couple of photos from our New Orleans outing.

Matthew and Candice at our lunch at the Redfish Grill. The restaurant is becoming one of our favorites. Our friends, Chuck and Michelle, suggested it long ago and we love it. Yes, we took her on Bourbon Street to eat lunch. I know, we are gonna burn for that.

Matthew and Candice strolling down Canal Street.

Mom and Ken. . . . . . .

and Matthew and Sarah. . . . . . .

ate this to complete our New Orleans trip.

Ken was a little bothered by fact that at Cafe Du Monde, the powdered sugar is everywhere. So, we threw it on him just for fun. I should have got a picture of his face.

We give tours anytime of the year-please call to make a reservation!

And for the real reason you visited the blog today....... pictures of Candice. Don't be fooled. If you see this face, just put the diaper back on and be patient.

And get more wipes. QUICKLY.

She is so fun to cuddle with after she wakes up.

Candice is attempting to dance. Not bad Baby Girl.

Candice Anne Arrives

Hey y'all, it's the Professor pinch hitting for Sarah Mae on the blog.

Candice Anne Alford was born yesterday (Friday, September 19th) at 9:09 am. We were blessed with a very healthy girl via c-section. The procedure was quick and easy (at least from where I was sitting). She weighed in at 11 lbs. 10 oz. and measured 21.5 inches in length. The doctors and nursing staff were all amazed. Not the first time that's happened!

She's gorgeous (of course) and already nursing like a champ. A little bit of dark hair, but we've still got our fingers crossed for some red like mommy's. Candice got nothing but good reports from all the doctors. She was quite the little attraction yesterday. Word travelled fast through the hospital about the big baby in the nursery. She was actually the biggest baby our doctor had ever delivered. I was pretty pumped about that. It's always good to be #1. Hopefully Candice inherits my competitive streak. She's already outgrown the newborn diapers so we had to get some borrowed from the pediatric unit downstairs. I also passed a major milestone as well: changed my first diaper, ever. That meconium stuff is no joke. I also made it through the delivery without incident. I don't have the best track record with hospitals and major surgeries, but I was a rock yesterday. I even peeked over the shroud just as they were pulling Candice out. Amazing sight (alas, I was not allowed to video that one). I did get into a little trouble, though. I joined in a conversation among the doctors about the LSU-Auburn football game just as the surgery was beginning. Sarah gave me a swift, but stern reminder that we were not here to discuss SEC football.

We got a little rest during the night, and Sarah got unplugged from everything this morning. Sarah has already been up and about for her first walk. She was made to be a mom. She's been a trooper since Day One of this pregnancy. Working at a juvenile detention center, beach trip, camping trip to the mountains, summer heat, diabetes, big baby, hurricane evacuation during her 9th month and a c-section at 38 weeks..... She never complained once. Why am I not surprised? She's a Hall of Famer.

That's about it for now. No pictures, yet. I forgot the camera at the room. I know I'm in trouble for that, but I promise to make up for it soon with lots of pictures of mom and baby. We are so excited about our new addition. Please feel free to call or come by. We love showing Candice off! Thanks also to everyone who prayed us through these last 9 months. All our prayers were answered in a BIG way!

UPDATE WITH PHOTOS:

One last shot of the belly

Sarah, Candice and Nonna (my mom, Donna)

Our little fam

My two girls

Alfords Evacuate

Gustav. We hate you.

I am watching the local news coverage of Hurricane Gustav here in north Mississippi with the family. We evacuated on Saturday morning. Way before it got too crazy with contraflow and all that. I am so glad to hear Gustav has weakened just before it made land fall this morning. I am so relieved we are not there right now.

8 months pregnant + tornados + no power + limited groceries/gasoline =MISERY
No thank you.

The news coverage is still scary to watch from way up here. The weather reporters are spread out all over Louisiana and almost falling over from the wind gusts as they use words to describe the weather like "hammered" (Neil thought that one was funny), "pounded", and "feisty" (my favorite adjective).

All of this hurricane planning is very new for us since we have only been living in Louisiana for one year now. Pretty scary.

We will return when our neighbors and friends who stayed can give us a good report of the town and that we have power back on.

Be safe in Louisiana!

Hi, remember us?

So much to share. Just leave the site if this is too much for you.

Matthew and I bought a house. For the FIRST TIME. After renting for the last 5 years, I am so relieved. I also feel very. . . . grown up now. Like I could just tell people, "Hey. Don't talk to me like that. I just bought a freakin' house, what have you done lately?" We are still busy decorating and getting everything just the way we like it. Thanks to the Alford clan, we were moved and unpacked in one day. We have done several little home projects already. Those activities. . . don't usually go well with us since we both want to be in charge. However, neither of us has quit a job or whispered "shut up" under our breath even once. So beautiful. Love the new house. If we know and like you, please come visit.

I have offended the waterfowl population in Louisiana. Badly. I am sure the Conservation Police are coming for me since I was recently involved in the death of a duck. Absolutely true. It was terrible. The duck flew into the side of my car just outside my neighborhood. The death was sudden, but not clean. Nasty all over the side of my car. I get out to look at the damage and see that my side mirror is hanging by a thread. Don't forget about the nasty all over the side of my car. I also look over and see the duck's two other friends giving me a dirty look that says, "You gonna kill us too?" I had to go back home and switch cars and let Matthew deal with the nasty/broken mirror issues. I do love animals, but I was more angry at the duck than sad about him dead. Oh yeah, he landed in someone's front lawn. But. . .I wasn't sure what to do. I couldn't knock on their door at 7:30am to tell them about the dead duck. Then, I couldn't bring myself to do it that night either. Surely they would notice it. Nope. The duck is still there. Gross. Who doesn't notice a dead duck in their yard?

My unborn Candice Anne is not as dainty as her name might insinuate. She is currently 5.5 lbs. when all books/websites report babies at this stage should be approximately 3.75 lbs. Hm. We will call her "healthy". If she continues to be "healthy" she will reach 10 lbs. by her due date. 10 lbs. is alot of baby. Have you ever given birth? Was your baby 10 lbs.? Try walking around all day with that big, I mean healthy, baby in your belly. Shopping is actually becoming less fun to me. I am carrying a lot of weight around these days. Check out my latest belly pic in the margin! She is doing well and I will post pictures of her nursery when I am done. You are going to want to live in there. It is so cool.

I had a wonderful group of family and friends give me a shower recently. I was so honored and got completely spoiled! Candice is well on her way to having everything a little princess might need. I will post some pictures when I get them from some picture-takers at the shower. We had so much fun. Thank you to all of the family and very special friends that made that day so special to me. I was lucky enough to have Janell come from Tennessee and Laura, Emily (who should have won the clothespin game), Amy, and Miss Debbie come from Starkville, MS. I was so excited that all of you could make it! Gift that made me cry the most: My mom made a quilt for Candice and it was so special when I realized that she made it herself. Thanks Mom!

Matthew and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary! We met 11 years ago in college at Mississippi State University (Go Dawgs!) and I have a hard time finding the words to explain how much I love him. There is no one like him and that is a shame for all you single girls out there. We didn't go on a trip, considering I am in the third trimester with our healthy daughter. We went to eat in Baton Rouge at Juban's. It was a lovely restaurant and we ate way too much. We will have to reserve a big anniversary celebration/vacation when I am not busy growing a baby.

Professor Matthew also had a birthday in July and is still shopping for his birthday gift. I bought him this t-shirt to give him on his big day. Gotta love the Karate Kid. Anyway, his official gift is an obnoxiously-large flat screen television of his choice. Being the economics teacher and the first-born, he is putting alot of research into this purchase before he makes the buy. Good job baby. Now, hurry up so we can watch the Sound of Music in HD.

Points of Interest

We have had a crazy month! Busy in the best way. Here are some of the highlights:

1)Our baby has a name!!!! Candice Anne Alford. I did love all the suggestions, but we have made our decision. Candice is my mother's name (so sweet right?) and Anne is my mother-in-law's middle name along with many others in their family tree. We are so excited! I have bought her about 6 little outfits so far. It is SO difficult to not buy everything in a baby store. Isn't this the nesting stage of pregnancy? Maybe I am going to mentally injure myself by not giving in to my shopping desires. She is kicking, dancing, and doing her water aerobics day and night. I am loving every second of it. I can't wait for her to get here. We're waiting for you Candice!

A profile of Candice sleeping on her back.

2)We had a beach vacation in Alabama with some of our family. We stayed at an amazing condo right on the beach. I could have stayed for the whole summer. We went out to eat and lounged around the beach all day long. Perfect. But this quick weekend on the beach (2 days) was well planned considering Matthew and his brother Daniel shunned the idea of sunscreen and could only stand ONE day in the sun. ONE. Uh.

We got ready and went out to eat as a family that night. Do you not just love getting ready to go out to eat while on a beach vacation? As I was getting ready, and of course dreaming about amazing seafood to eat, I was thinking about how much I love to shower after a beach day and get dressed up. I look extra lovely after I have gotten a little sun, minus the new 5,452 new freckles that have appeared.

Anyway, Daniel was completely miserable during dinner. He was unable to finish his meal due to his involuntary shaking, fever, and borderline delirium. Matthew was feeling so-so until we got back to the condo and he got right into bed. I was petrified that he was going to be dehydrated so I checked on him several times and encouraged him to drink water. He is so vile when he is sick. He would snap at me every time I checked on him. I came in once to get a a bit firmer with him about drinking the water when this happens:

[Matthew is resting quietly]

Me: [Rubbing his arm and speaking softly] "Honey, how about you drink some water?"

Vile Professor: [looking vile with lips pursed together] "What!"

Me: [STILL speaking softly] "I just don't want you to get dehydrated after today."

Vile Professor: [STILL looking vile, finishes off the bottle of water in one mean-spirited sip.]"Happy?"

Me: [now also looking vile] "Yes." [storms out with nose in the air]

He has never been a good sick patient. But really.

Anyway, I must give credit to Neil, the youngest and most wise of the Alford boys. He may not have worn that much sunscreen either, but he has the nice tan now and evidently the best skin to take a day at the beach. Matthew and Daniel have been shedding and peeling skin for the last couple weeks. Karen, are you not sick of looking at the peeled skin everywhere? Gross and nasty.

Matthew and I at the beach.

3) A music revolution has happened at our house. First, my boss and friend Beronica shared with me about Pandora. It is a very cool website where you pick types of music or specific artists you like and it will create a radio station that plays just what you like. You don't have to sign up, unless you want it to remember your choices. Anyway go check it out, very fun. Also, Matthew finally bought himself an IPod and is loving it. I am not sure why we put this off for so long. We are really moving up in the world.

Pink

Pink is the color I will be seeing alot of from now on. I am having a girl! The ultrasound today revealed that SHE is doing just fine. And thanks to the Diet Coke I drank immediately before the appointment, she was moving around like a maniac. Like any good paparazzi, we waited for just the right moment to snap the shot. I won't post "the shot", but I have included a cute photo from today.

Baby Girl's Profile

After the appointment I did a little shopping and picked this up.

I couldn't resist. How sweet!

Blog-Worthy Gift

Last time I got to visit with my in-laws I received a birthday present worthy of a blog post. My husband's Mommaw (grandmother-in-law?) gave me a bottle of Dolce & Gabbana's Light Blue perfume. A couple of other family members own this fabulous scent and I like to give those people an extra hug when I see them. I also just love them- Lo, Marykelli, and Lesa. Anyway, I suppose I have made a scene over my fondness of the scent and Mommaw picked up on it. Or, maybe she wanted me to stop sniffing people like a maniac. This gift is not only thoughtful, but extremely generous. She really spoiled me rotten this time! I know my reaction was proof enough-but I LOVE this perfume. In fact, I have a quick thought each time I put the perfume on: "Is this activity D&G worthy?" The answer is mostly "No". How sad. Anyway, I recklessly wear it whenever I want, and I know that others around me are very jealous. Thanks Mommaw!

I Can't Keep It A Secret Any Longer...

I am so proud to announce that I am pregnant! I am so proud of the announcement for all the usual reasons a new mother would be excited, and much more. For those readers that know our story, we have just amazed you with our news. Sarah? Pregnant? What?!? Obviously, all pregnancies are amazing events, but ours is truly miraculous. Here's the brief version of our story:

In early 2006, after a couple of months of trying to conceive, I tried a fertility drug. My OBGYN figured since I was a diabetic, and strictly controlling my blood sugars during a pregnancy would be alot of work, let's hurry up and just pregnant. We tried fertility drugs for a couple of months, but they did not work. In fact, my hormone levels were so low after the fertility drugs, my nurse asked me, "Uh, did you take the medicine we gave you?" Puzzled, she ran some more tests that revealed I was in early menopause and had POF (Premature Ovarian Failure). I definitely felt like a total failure. It was bad enough that I have diabetes, now I have fertility problems, too. She said no way I could get pregnant, and most likely not be able to do any in vitro procedures. My diabetes doctors agreed and we were completely stunned.

For the next 6 months we cried, prayed, researched, and leaned on family and friends for support. We discussed surrogacy (I had some great offers! Thanks sis.) and adoption and tried to collect our thoughts. Around December 2006, Matthew and I both started to feel a stirring in our hearts and the Lord was speaking to us individually-JUST BELIEVE. When we finally discussed what we were each hearing, we were excited and nervous. What does it mean? People will think we are crazy! We did not care. We told our families that we would pray for a miracle until we heard God tell us to stop. So for the next couple months we prayed and did believe that if God wanted to do it, he could. I think my doctors, especially those that didn't believe in God, were concerned about my false hope of pregnancy. My Christian doctors were fired up and said whatever you feel led to do, do it! I went ahead and started on hormone replacement pills-ah! At age 27! I hate menopause.

We had a speaker come to our church and share about believing in God's power and putting yourself in line to receive any healing or help that God would want to send your way. You must believe and have faith. We did and we let him pray for us and the miracle we wanted. I was prayed over at a women's conference, and then shared my story at a weekend retreat. Little did I know that I was already pregnant.

In February 2007, I was having some weird symptoms so my doctor wanted me to go in for more blood work to check on my hormone levels. Oh great, what else has gone wrong with my body? The blood test said I was pregnant. I almost passed out in the office. I was crying; the nurses were crying; we were in total disbelief. Matthew and I celebrated our new secret for about a week. I went to my OBGYN the next week only to be disappointed that my 8 week old baby had no heartbeat. Such a strange combination of sadness and hope. My doctor tried to comfort me and sort out the shock that I could even get pregnant at all. She was completely at a loss for words. I told her that God told us he wanted to do something and it looks like he is.

She referred us to a specialist and over the next 9 months I took fertility drugs and waited, and repeated this routine alot. My specialist did not give me much hope. He said that there was no real evidence that this treatment could work for someone with my diagnosis, but was willing to try until we wanted to stop trying. We went in for several ultrasounds to check on the reproductive process and to better gauge our chances for conception. It was a great feeling for our super-smart specialist to exclaim, "Well, I'll be damned!" on more than one visit. That wasn't really a "prayer" per se, but we knew who the credit belonged to.

I finally got pregnant again in January 2008. It has been a family secret for the last few months as we have prayed and fought off worry and doubt. Our families have been so supportive and excited about all the appointments and news we have to share. Thank you-we love you! It also feels good to know that we, our family, and our friends all give the credit to God who gave us such a wonderful and miraculous gift. I always knew I would be a mother, but the "how" was never completely clear. I am so excited that God wants to me have my first child just like this. I'm 3 months now and due in early October!

Look, we're starting to show!

Happy Birthday to me!

I was too tired to post about it yesterday, but my weekend was faaaaabulous! The Professor and I went to New Orleans and stayed at a super fancy hotel in the French Quarter. I can get really enthusiastic about a trip to a city like New Orleans and the promise of very fine accomodations. And very fine it was. We arrived late on Friday, so just grabbed a quick bite at a local seafood place. Hmmm.....just so-so. On Saturday, some family was coming through town so we met for coffee and beignets at, yep-Cafe Du Monde.

Good thing we chose to walk to each destination because stuffing my face with those lovely dough lovelies was certainly foreshadowing for the rest of the weekend.

After our breakfast, we strolled around the French Market and ate at the French Market Cafe. I had the shrimp po-boy and Matthew had the shrimp and oyster po-boy. Pretty good, but nothing to rush back to on our next visit.

Then we started our stroll toward the Aquarium, but got sidetracked by some street dancers. Just like a tourist, we stopped and were mesmerized by them. Who doesn't like to watch some breakdancing (or streetdancing or whatever it's called this decade)? Quite impressive as I was complaining of having to walk sooooo faaaaaaar.

What? How?

Somebody give him some cash!

So, we made it to the Aquarium and the IMAX theatre. Both were great. Haagen Daz vanilla milkshake-yum. Wandered around the shops at Canal Place and loved every minute of it. More walking because our fat butts really needed to.

Right as we get to our hotel we met a bridal party coming out into the street. A brass band is playing, the bride and groom raise their parasols as they climb into the horse and carriage.

They are handed champagne, and ride away in their carriage as their guests wave white napkins in the air.

The only piece of the puzzle that didn't quite fit to me was--well, the woman on stilts in a circus outfit. I don't know. A family friend who came straight from work, or whatever? Or maybe this is another tradition I know nothing about.

So, oh yeah-frozen coffees and a croissant just before we catch the Italian-American Parade just outside our hotel. My grandfather would be so proud! We watched for an hour then headed inside to take a rest.

Saturday night we had dinner at The Redfish Grill on Bourbon Street. Our friends, Chuck and Michelle Beauchamp, suggested this place and we loved it. We did stroll down Bourbon Street, pretty unimpressive though. Let's see, what is the phrase I am looking for. . . kinda gross. Too many people, most of them trying way too hard to do something.... I don't even know what. Anyway, definitely stop at The Redfish Grill when you're in town. So, bread, appetizer, salad, entree-oh my! Fat butts walk back to hotel again and fall asleep in no time.

We can thank Mr. and Mrs. Yeargain for suggesting Mr. B's Bistro for the jazz brunch on Sunday morning. Divine. Shrimp and grits for Matthew, Eggs Florentine for me, bread of course and then bread pudding. Not usually a fan of the bread pudding, but. . . .divine. This was the last meal in the city. There was no room for ANYMORE food.

We took one last walk to the Riverwalk mall. Eh. Doesn't compare to the shopping the day before.

The trip was wonderful and it was all my cute husband's idea.

Sinus Rinse Product Available

Because you all mean so much to me, I like to keep you informed of the latest and greatest. No doubt you went out and bought a face visor after I posted about its many benefits. Well, I was in Walgreens last night and spotted a display for the Neil Med Sinus Rinse and Neti Pot. I was not drawn to the name itself, but the photos on the display.

Sinus Rinse

Neti Pot

Ok. I went to the Neil Med website (please visit) and they have a thriving business focused on the cleanliness of your nasal passages. I included this video in case you are interested in how one would perform the nasal passage cleaning. I don't even know what else to say. Turn up the volume up so you can hear the soothing music accompaniment. I haven't laughed this hard in a while.

Where in the world is Sarah Alford?

Better yet, what the heck has she been doing? I will answer my own question.

1. Mardi Gras!

Matthew and I went to a great parade in New Orleans a couple days before Fat Tuesday. We caught beads, saw extraordinary floats, and finally got to eat a beignet at Cafe Du Monde. FINALLY. We saw a variety of interesting individuals and as we walked around took in all the smells that New Orleans has to offer during this time of year (alcohol, trash, gasoline, beignets).

Wait a minute, those smells are there all the time. Right Melissa?

2. Tyson Granger Alford

The name of my newest nephew. Good name huh? Feel free to steal it. I guarantee your kid is no match for this angel. Adorable. Smells fantastic. Likes to sleep alot. This little precious one belongs to Daniel and Karen Alford and arrived on February 4th. There is really something special about someone born in February. Something royal or better somehow. If you don't understand, just let it go. We got to be in town for the big occasion and I got to hold him the NEXT day. He quietly whispered that I was his favorite aunt just before we had to leave. I love you too Tyson-see you soon!

3. Hydroplane and drive into a ditch

What my car did the other day as I exited the interstate. Yep. It had just started to rain. And. . . what do you know, the road really is super slick when it firsts starts to rain. I was down in the muddy ditch (the beginning of a brilliant blues song?)a couple feet below street level and I freaked out a little bit. Mostly because my only family in town was about to be in class for the next several hours! I did manage to floor it and get out and back up the steep hill to the designated driving area/surface-CONCRETE. Oh my. No injuries to me or the car. All is well.

4. TheOlearyLife

The name of a blog you should read! Janell O'Leary is one of my closest friends and she has decided to start a blog. She is married to her fabulous husband Sean and they have a one-year old son, Liam, who will melt your heart. Read. Comment. Enjoy. Welcome to the blog world Janell!!

Little Known Facts

I have been tagged by Meredith. I should list some facts about me. Here we go. Will this ruin my rep?

1. I have always had to plug my nose when I jump into any water. Yes, even when I dive. Just picture that for a minute. I am the grown woman holding my nose along side the other toddlers jumping in the pool. For a couple of years I was able to go without, but I must have had a bad experience, I don't know. I just hate the feeling of the water shooting up my nose. I need help.

On a related note. . .

2. I have 2 interesting facts about my nose: (1) I have an extraordinary ability to detect smells. Yes, this is both a blessing and a curse. I will be the first to detect something burning in my kitchen before any real damage can be done(blessing). Also, it doesn't matter if you change your baby's diaper in the other room, I am ready to vomit (curse). (2) My nostrils are miniature. I had a bad accident as an infant and had to have my nose fixed. For some reason, my doctor designed it so my nose holes would always be infant-sized. How does this bother me? Well, my nose itches pretty much all day, I sneeze at least 3 times a day, and my pinky finger is the only finger that can fit. There you go. This is fun. And liberating. Moving on.

3. My very first job was dressing up as Twinkie the Kid and passing out toys at a gas station grand opening. I had to stand on the corner of a busy street in Memphis, TN and wave to people in traffic. The outfit was a full body mascot-like thing, with a huge Twinkie head that I almost suffocated in due to the summer heat. I made $6.50/hr. and am crushed that I do not have a photo from that day.

4. In high school, a friend invited me to play on her church's basketball team. I had never played before, but agreed anyway. Should be fun. The first game I played in, I shot a basket on the wrong goal. The. Wrong. Goal. Do you know how long it takes to run the length of the court to shoot on the wrong goal? All the while your coach, teammates, and fans are yelling at you "STOP!, NO!" There was enough time to stop, but I was in the "zone."I must have thought all the screaming was just cheers for the rookie and her fast break.

5. I cannot do math in my head. At all. I don't just mean higher-level math. I have a hard time adding and subtracting in my head. I only worked in retail once and I avoided the cash register like the plague. I know, I know, the register does the work for you. What would I do if it broke suddenly and I had to make change? Die, that's what. I try not to borrow money from people because it always ends up where they say, "Well, just keep this $1.50 and just pay me back $10 next you have it. Or, you could take this $5 from me and then you will just owe me $7.50 next time. What do you think?" This is where I say "Uh, I don't know. Just decide." I can assure you, if I make the decision, somebody is getting screwed out of some money. And it could be me. My ignorance is not bias at all. Simple math kind of feels like I am taking the analytical portion of a standardized test. Ick!

That concludes my list. I tried to select some little known facts. I know most of you already knew these little bits of Sarah Trivia.

Is it time for Mardi Gras break yet? I tag anyone who wants to go next!

Crash Bandicoot

If you have spent anytime around Matthew and I, you have no doubt heard the ridiculous nicknames he picks out for me: Cheetoh, Chicken Nugget Breath, Chucko, Turd Ferguson. Oh, the horror! He is a funny, funny man. The latest is this post's title, Crash Bandicoot. Yes, my husband refers to me only as Crash Bandicoot. The "crash" part I get, I have been quite entertainingly destructive and clumsy lately. But "bandicoot"? What the heck is a bandicoot anyway? I found this lovely creature when I searched. Mouselike, with a longer nose and ears. I never really knew a bandicoot was a real thing. Thanks honey, I remind you of a rat with a ginormous nose and ears. I prefer to think of the video game character that I am specifically named after.

So, to back up a little, I have been extraordinarily clumsy lately . What do I mean you ask? Oh, let's see. . . . (1)I was opening a new bag of cereal [Raisin Bran Crunch for those interested] and ripped the bag all the way down the side and pretty much destroyed the bag. Now, each time I pour cereal from the bag it pours into the box as well. Yep. (2)The last couple of places we have gone together (campus, department stores, etc.), I always seem to trip over NOTHING. I will have this big dramatic flop and whip around to see the big hole or uneven spot on the floor that I stumbled on and. . . . there is none. I keep looking [trying to prove I am not crazy] and Matthew has a good laugh. Keep laughing Professor, what goes around comes around. (3) I was using the apple slicer on the stove top's surface and I almost completely caved in the top of the stove. My strength was superhuman-like and Matthew called me "Hulk". What have I done to deserve these horrible nicknames? (4)Matthew thinks I can't drive correctly. This problem is really more chronic for us though. I believe that I am a very safe driver. I rarely get honked at, cursed at, or flipped off. But everytime Matthew rides in the car with me, we have a near-death experience. Why is this so? I am going to defend myself here and say that maybe the fault is with the passenger and not the driver. Mmmm huh. If my co-pilot wasn't distracting me, I would do just fine. So beware people, I am a dangerous person.