Sinatra, Sweet Petites, etc.

Hello all. Everybody still curling their eyelashes? Good.

I thought maybe I would share some of my latest interests [actually obsessions] with you.

1. Frank Sinatra

Love this CD. Summer Wind, The Best is Yet to Come, and Luck be a Lady: all very nice. It's brassy, sassy, and love that voice. Not such good husband material, but who cares. Mmm. Go Frank!

2. Mt. Olive Sweet Petite Pickles

This obsession started upon moving to Louisiana. Blame the Cajuns. I cannot get enough of these things. Obviously, I enjoy the taste. But they are also very. . . . . cute. Yeah, that's right, my snack is cute. They have no fat and very little sugar. Supposedly 3 of these cuties are a serving size (only 3? puh-lease!).

Matthew: Honey? I thought you bought another jar of sweet petites, is this the old one?

Me: Um, what? I can't really remember. [OMG, I think I have a problem.]

Anyway, they are also fun to say. Sweet Petite. Isn't that fun? Even better, I don't know about the taste, but I crack up every time I see a jar of Sweet Midgets. I cannot help it. I dare you to say Sweet Midgets 3 times without smiling. Impossible. That's what I thought my Sweet Petite.

3. Pilot G-2 07 Pens

This is a long standing admiration. I used to think bad things about people who only used certain pens. [Pen snobs pay attention.] I was wrong! Some pens ARE better than others. Try a Pilot G-2, it's a wonderful thing. I firmly believe it improves penmanship. Much like a good pair of shoes can make you jump higher. So go get a 10-pack and spread the word.

4. MTV's The Hills

Uh. I know. It's real bad, but I love it real bad. Loser Spencer and his gf Heidi. Will they stay together? What about Heidi's stressful job? Will she and Lauren ever be friends again? Where does Brody fit in? I don't care about the other characters. Get on with the story! The script gives me the same nauseous feeling I usually get concerning Dawson's Creek. Then you realize you can't stop. Self-control? Nope. However, these characters are mega-rich with better clothes.

This clip is just the tip of the iceberg.

That concludes my list.

Husband Scores Big Points

When I get my hair cut/highlighted, I have to point to my head and say, "Hey! Notice anything different?" to get any sort of reaction from my husband. I can't just say, "What do you think?". I must include hand motions and pointing fingers to guide him to the item(s) in question. Not because he doesn't want to say something (he knows that saying something is the right thing), he just does not notice. At all. The man is brilliant, but he does not notice things like this. This is in stark comparison to my brother-in-law Daniel (Matthew's younger brother) who notices EVERYTHING. Daniel will notice any new item of clothing, a new purse, new jewelry, and any change in someones' hair. Sorry ladies, he's married and about to be a first time father to my future nephew! So back to Daniel's gift of noticing things.

Daniel: Hey? Did you part your hair differently today?

Me: Yep. I decided to try it this way for a while.

Daniel: Oh, it looks good.

Me: Thanks! (giving Matthew the evil eye)

Matthew: Thanks alot Daniel.

Anyway, the other day I rediscovered my eyelash curler and used it. I can't believe I ever dropped this step from my routine-my lashes looked fabulous. That afternoon, Matthew and I are talking:

Matthew: Honey, your lashes look really long today.

Me: (stunned) Really? Oh, I used my eyelash curler today.

Matthew: Well, they look good.

Me: Thanks babe. (swooning)

Do I care if he notices my haircut anymore? Nope.

Am I reminded of how wonderful he is and how petty I can be sometimes? Yes and yes.

Ahem. Jealousy doesn't become you ladies, go find your own!

Hair Product Review: got2b Hot Smoothing Lotion

This morning, I was doing my hair and decided to try a new product I bought yesterday. The product is by got2b (a kind of rip off of Bed Head products) and is the "Crazysleek Hot Smooth Flat Iron and Blow Dry Lotion." I got it from the grocery store, like most of my hair products (there is currently no room in the Alford budget for high priced hair products). So, I tried it, you add it to damp hair. It is a spray bottle, but I discovered the consistency is more gel like, so I just sprayed it into my hands and starting working it into my hair. At first, it kind of smelled like french toast or like donuts, sounds good to you huh? [a little background: I have superhuman olfactory senses so I can smell anything in the vicinity minutes before anyone else even notices.] Ok, so I am not a big fan of baked-good-smelling products (sugar cookie candles, vanilla lotions, etc.), but I thought, "So I smell like donuts, that's not bad. My super-sensitive nose is probably the only one who will detect it anyway." HOWEVER, almost instantly after thinking this, the smell took a turn. Evidently, too much yummy donut smell turns into burned plastic or burned hair smell. Gag! And gag again. I know this is so dramatic, but I considered getting back in the shower and washing my hair again. It was that bad. I am far too stubborn to let some hair lotion upset my already-in-progress-getting-ready-routine, plus my hair is very thick and getting pretty long (a redo wash would take some time). So, I toughed it out (after I covered it up with my Dove Leave-in Treatment = good smell). But I must say, my stomach had a couple of close calls because each time my hair passes in front of my face, I smell it. You know how products and movies can receive a "2 thumbs down" review, I give this nasty-smelling stuff a different hand signal.

p.s. I had to fish it out of the garbage just to do this post. If I have saved just one person from making this mistake, my work is done. ickthyuck!

Reality TV Cleansing

I have been watching reality TV and I am pretty sure I am dumber as a result. Help!
I have selected the following as my latest obsession in reality TV. People, this show is terrible. I am so embarrased!

Vh1's The Pick Up Artist Ahh!

Oh, gosh. What can I say. The Pick Up Artist is a show where the quite abnormal looking and talking "Mystery", the host, leads his students on a socially-educating journey to learn to talk to and connect with women. They are self-proclaimed losers in the dating category and volunteer to be Mystery's proteges. I'm thinking (1) Mystery looks like a cartoon character and (2) I hope the students are really actors hoping to be discovered.
This show is complete with it's own set of vocabulary:

Set: a group of people; [Hey, look at that two-set (2 people) of women running away from us!]

Kino: physical touch;[No one on this show has ever played a game of Kino.]

DHV: Demonstration of Higher Value; any occurence that increases women's attraction for you; [Can I borrow someone's DHV? Anyone?]

IOD: Indicators Of Disinterest; signs that a woman isn't attracted to you; [(Mystery thinks to himself) Was Chelsea's facial expressions and sarcastic question a possible IOD?]

There is even this big guy on the show who ALWAYS goes up to women (in a bar, on the street, etc.) and says "Hey! Did you guys see the fight back there! blah, blah, blah." I mean, who wouldn't fall for such a great line?

Anyway, so Alvaro (a.k.a Kosmo) ends up winning and being crowned the pick up artist. I think he won a whopping $50,000 dollars too. Hmm, wow.

Some before and after shots. Nevermind, being on the show was worthwhile. My fav is the necklace.

They interviewed the newly crowned pick up artist and I highlighted a few questions below.

Vh1: Why did you change your name to Kosmo?

Kosmo: Kosmo is my breakdancing name. I got it when I was 10-years old and I used to breakdance in Miami. People couldn’t figure out what I was thinking, so they called me Kosmo. I like it better. I’m out there, I’m not normal at all.

The last comment is all too true.

Vh1: So it was worth it?

Kosmo: Oh yeah. If they told me right now that I could either do a movie with Robert DeNiro or The Pick Up Artist, I would pick The Pick Up Artist. It changed my life.

Ok, I don't know why I got stuck on this show. How ridiculous.

It' s your turn. Be honest readers. You watched every episode. You were, and still are, ashamed of liking it. Redemption is offered here, no charge. Tell me the name of the show and let the world know your secret!